there is much to realize that in the case that if u let one fall, others will naturally follow. rules are there to guide but they don't have to be stuck to because of obligation. i really think just today has made things a little darker following what happened over this week. i'm so sorry. i can wait forever to be forgiven but i can't wait another moment for myself to forgive myself. maybe the case is so... but yet i have not been understanding as required. maybe i can't bear to just sit and watch and evaluate... i just had to have things the way i would like them. i don't know... but this hasn't been like ever before. i need a break from my own thoughts.

ehhh. my skin is pulling out from under my fingernail. haha.